Poem of the Month - October 2009

Having just returned from my school reunion (we graduated in 1972 - well I technically did a year later but that is another story) I am feeling a bit nostalgic. It is strange how the years can pass and we all do so many things that fill our days and our lives with stories, but going back and being with people who are still recognisable (if a tad older) and much the same in the way they see the world, it almost seemed like I was right back there, at the start. I had to keep kicking myself to remember I am no longer 17 and never will be again.

Which brings me to a poem I wrote a few years ago on this theme, so I thought it was appropriate to publish it here.

Running Through this Shared Life

When I was seventeen
You taught me passion, how to need,
And to set new rules
that made sense of our unique brand of love.

Eighteen was the year of flux,
Of questioning myself.
You were older than your years.
I learnt the boundaries of my existence
Were far from rigid, if they ever existed
In any place other than my mind.

At nineteen
You taught me how to cut the ties.
A new life together, yet innocent
Of ourselves, each other and the world.
Both of us eager to explore,
With no idea of consequences.

The twenties came and went,
Squandered in frivolity
Based on a firm assurance
That we knew all there was to know
About the workings of the world.

Nothing prepared us for the thirties of reality
(domesticity, parenthood, responsibility)
The new rule was, “no rules apply”
Knowledge was gone, replaced by uncertainty.
The darkness hovered …

Into the forties, knowing we would never know,
Instead, damage control was all
Our depleting energy could provide.
We put out spot fires
With tears full of salt and venom,
And took turns to run away.
Our children, loved and forgiving in the chaos,
Were the elastic, ensuring we did not travel
Too far from ourselves,or from each other.

The fifties approaches, and another seachange
Looms, in our escape brains
Will this be another decade of grappling with identity
And the big questions
Or will I finally get to France,
Shall you find your wings?

Let’s hope the time for introspection’s past,
And the future is the time for living true.
A time for action, guided by the rules
Of love, honesty, and hope.

January 2002